Im still young but i just feel so lost/useless/or like a loser and im not sure what to do now or int he future. i have so many ideas but i just cant do most of them becasue im depressed or i struggle (i have autism and dsleyixa). ive always been treate dlike the odd one out and ive never had irl friends that are actually friendly, i just feel so alone and i hate that i want to change or dream but i feel lost.
I also want many thing like money, fun, a good life and whatnot but im just not too sure. i take meds but i feel like something is missing and im not sure what that could be. i also want thing sinstantly and that anoyes me and im not sure what to do about it.
you have any tips or advice by chance? i could have rante dmore but i wanted to stop.
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Work on yourself and build self efficacy. Yes, it’s hard, but it’s incredibly fulfilling when you can do things that you previously can’t. If you want money and you’re young, try to figure out what you’re good at and also what society seems to need. Whether that’s a skilled trade if you like working with your hands, or programming if you like that, find something at that intersection of what you’re good at and what people will pay you for and get really good at it.
Exercise consistently, go out and get some sun, set goals for yourself. I find that our digital lifestyle has really trained our brain for instant gratification constantly chasing that dopamine hit. But the real world doesn’t function that way.
Who cares if you’re a bit weird, everyone has their quirks.
I know it’s going to feel like a platitude, but if you keep trying it will get better. Most of my twenties felt like a waste when I was in them, especially because I kept comparing myself to what I thought my path should be.
But now looking back in my 30’s it’s clear that I I spent most of the earlier part experimenting to figure out what I wanted and just generally surviving while doing that. I started my career, met my now wife, reconnected with friends that wanted to support my instead of keeping me where I was.
None of that would have happened if I didn’t keep pushing on, but it did often feel like I was treading water or even going backwards.
- Define your priorities.
- Ignore what other think, especially the one who say it’s not possible.
- Move your ass.
Believe me, these 3 rules work for everybody and whatever your age.
I’m in my late 40s, suffering from depression since I had extreme burnout from my big tech job.
One thing to watch out for: I took an SSRI for a long time and only when I stopped taking it (SLOW TAPER, please) did I notice how much it had suppressed all my emotions. I tried a different one and it is much better. Ymmv.
Not claiming I have solved any of those issues, but the things that always do make a positive impact for me are Community, Action, and Compassion. And don’t forget yourself with the compassion. Good luck!
Other responses here are pretty great advice. I just want to add that feeling this way is pretty normal in our modern world.
Our society evolved much faster than our biology. This world isn’t very satisfying with respect to the kinds of things our ancestors had to do I order to survive and be part of a group of other people. Most jobs feel unsatisfying because they are.
For example: it feels good to work a physically hard job in the same way exercise feels good, and yet physical work is often looked down upon as though there is no value in it (which is crap), and people who spend lots of time in a gym don’t face that same stigma about sweating.
I can’t keep myself as an reference point, since I’m bit abnormal, so I might be wrong, but here are my two sents.
From people around me, I’ve noticed a commond factor that causes them anxiety.
Western culture keeps feeding us the idea that a good person is someone who is smart, hard working, successful, wealthy, beautiful and uses his potential to the fullest. We keep feeding this to our children from early on and it really seems to be stuck on peoples heads.
This manifests in various ways. People just don’t let themselves be what they are and torture themselves constantly for not being enough. People stay in a job they hate, because the pay is good and they have taken a large debt, because they need to have successful peoples stuff. People trade in their family life for work, so they could be respected by people that would sell their grandmothers in a second. etc…
If more people would just shake off this shit, mix a little “carpe diem” with “don’t give a shit” and focus on people who don’t demand anything from them, maybe they would be happier.
“The opposite of courage isn’t cowardice; it’s conformity.”
I’m struggling with this myself. What my Therapist wants me to work on is self-compassion. You are doing so great, and what you are going through right now is very normal. What I want to tell you is how amazing you are by expressing this on the internet for people to read. It’s quite brave. Tell yourself something nice, because you are worth it. You are worth loving yourself for.
I’m a big fan of HealthygamerGG regardless of whether you’re a “gamer” or not. Dude’s a clinical psychologist, actually reads up on current research, and unlike most clinical psychologists he actually dealt with that sense of “stuckness” that a lot of us feel and sympathizes with it.
I don’t agree with everything he talks about, but he’s good at clearly delineating the line between speaking “as a professional” with scientific evidence and speaking about his personal experience, and his advice got me to start meditating. He goes deeper into problems than “just DO it, bro” because that’s sort of his job, and he doesn’t shy away from explaining the “mechanics” of the brain because he actually trusts people to get it. I don’t have “more” motivation but what I’m motivated towards is changing shifting towards more helpful things.
