I should be studying right now, but everytime I sit to study, I can’t sit there long enough, I want food even though I am not hungry, I want to watch TV/youtube, self-pleasure… etc…
No matter what productive work I want to do, I will try to not do that and do something which gives me momentary pleasure. I want to masturbate, eat lots of food even though I am not hungry while watching TV/Youtube and I don’t seem to be able to break the cycle and it’s destroying me. How can I break the cycle and do something good for a change instead of pleasuring myself in the moment meaninglessly?
hey, thank you! I feel like my brain is hijacked by all the stuff I do and I can’t do anything else. Fuck this laptop and fuck this phone. These aren’t good for me.
Escaping from these things is a long slow process involving a lot of work.
The book Atomic Habits is very good. It talks about how you have a limited willpower budget and the best way to make long term change is to only make small changes at any given time, and stick with that small change until it requires zero willpower. Then you can make another small change.
Basically it’s like making a sculpture by putting down little layers of concrete, then waiting for the concrete to fully cure before putting more concrete on it.
You make a little change to your habits. Something like “I don’t touch any apps other than alarm clock for the first five minutes of my day”.
Then you do a huge and nearly exhausting amount of work to make sure the first five minutes of each day aren’t your normal escape patterns.
Trying to go whole hog takes more willpower than you actually have, and so it breaks down. Trying to alter the first five minutes of the day takes an amount of willpower you can actually afford to spend.
And the key is, after you’re consistent with it for a while, it eventually takes no willpower, and is now by definition a “habit”.
It’s mostly not your fault. Apps, games, and socials are intentionally designed to be addictive. That’s because the more time you spend on them, the more ad revenue the owners make.
If sheer willpower doesn’t work, find other ways around it. Someone else already suggested going to a library or another place, that’s good advice. Of you phone is an issue, you could turn it off and allow yourself to turn it back on after you’ve been productive for an hour, or after you have achieved a specific goal.
Have you had an ADHD screening?
I got diagnosed with ADHD, prescribed some meds. It was a total waste of time. Gave me anxiety for about a year and a half before I stopped taking the meds. My success at handling the complexity of life increased for the first few days of my medication routine, then dropped back to where it was before with more panic attacks.
For me, getting an ADHD screening started a major detour in my own development.
Sounds like you were on the wrong meds. There are lots of ADHD meds. There are also ways to reduce the anxiety they cause. It honestly doesn’t sound like you want to try to fix this, you just want someone to wave a magic wand as if there’s some magic easy fix.
Yes, I was on the wrong meds.
I am stating a simple fact: I went and got tested for ADHD and it ended up setting me back, being the wrong move.
It would be nice if there was a magic wand, yes. I wasn’t thinking about it, and don’t know where you got that from what I said.
Then try a different medication? It takes a long time and a lot of attempts to find the right one
This is more a provision of information for OP than it is a request for help with my problems.
You either had bad doctors or you didn’t communicate with them. They should have lowered your dose or switched to a different stimulant if you had ADHD, and if you didn’t, they seriously screwed up by diagnosing it as such and giving you stimulants. A good doctor would’ve listened to you and recommended therapy in combination with meds.
I’ll 2nd what hexagon said about going to a library or similar place. Trying to work around other people who are working helps to focus the mind and reduce distractions. If you can go to a library, this may be a good place to set up better practices, e.g. thoses others have suggested, first, then set up a work-only zone at home you can transfer that feeling of focus and work to.