As a kid, I learned to “pause” my true self. School was the pause, and my hobbies, dreams, and passions were the unpause—something I’d rush back to during lunch or after class.
Over time, the pauses got longer. Tiredness and responsibilities crept in, leaving little energy to unpause at the end of some days.
At work, sometimes the pressure and the demands were so relentless that I couldn’t unpause for weeks or months at a time.
Then came marriage, fatherhood, and the joy—and work—of raising a child.
I want my son to get to know the real me but I worry that by the time he is grown I won’t have any “self” to unpause to.
This book could be recommended in those cases: https://archive.org/details/philosophicalpro0000hege/mode/2up and try to read everytime that you are idle, because maybe there is not an ideal place to concentrate about you and you have to include your life in the capital (capitalist system) rhythm by force.