I have not found any news article on this on a whim. Because my friends and family, I need to use Facebook Messenger, and Messenger Lite was a OK client - lightweight, no unnecessary features, etc., compared to the regular Messenger app.

Now I’m a little torn, having a Meta app on my phone is already bad, but having to downgrade to the bloated Messenger app? Not sure I will make a change. What are your thoughts?

  • Birdcatname@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Ever since Facebook forced the separate Messenger app, I’ve refused to install it. Instead, when I see a message notification, I pop into a browser, head to Facebook.com and push the desktop version. While it’s clunky, I’ve never had to download Messenger.

    • Carter@feddit.uk
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      Separate messaging app was the best thing they ever did. I’ve not had Facebook installed since.

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        1 year ago

        You’re still using their shit, just in a very inconvenient way. In fact, you’re going to their site that contains targeted ads rather than using an ad free app. What a strange hill to die on.

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          I have exactly one group that insists on communicating this way. Which is why this isn’t a big inconvenience for me. Your point is well taken, but doesn’t really apply in my case. I’m not a user of the service, which is why it’s so easy for me to refuse to install it, and hopefully I can use this to pressure the group to move to discord or some other means of communication. But if not I will continue to use the desktop site rather than install an app.

          • Ulijin@feddit.uk
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            I’m in the exact same position as you and take the same approach. It’s a hill I’m getting a mildly stubbed toe on.

        • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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          I’d rather have a slight inconvenience of seeing their ads on their website for the few moments I’d need to send a message than having their spyware of an app tracking everything I do all day long.

          • Steeve@lemmy.ca
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            Not only is that not possible on both Android and iPhone nowadays, that’s a myth that’s never been remotely proven.

              • Steeve@lemmy.ca
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                1 year ago

                Yeah, none of that means they’re tracking everything you do all day long.

                • Seasoned_Greetings@lemmy.ml
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                  Man, this is the single most ignorant comment I’ve seen regarding Facebook. You’ve never wondered how a company that offers a free product makes billions?

                  If that list didn’t have anything on it except “location”, I’d still say that you’re wrong about them not tracking you. How can you read all of the other things on that list and not realize that selling your data is how they make money?

    • twistedtxb@lemmy.ca
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      Why? I mean it’s much better to have the messenger app without all the facebook BS.

      Its very easy to disregard facebook in 2023, but Messenger is still one of the more prominent messaging app.

    • Chriskmee@lemm.ee
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      I hate to say this, but Facebook Messenger is one of the most fully featured messaging apps. It has its own internal messaging standard that offers iMessage like features between Facebook users, and it also is one of the better SMS apps out there.

      I can see why they make it its own app, it’s supposed to replace other messaging apps.

    • WashedOver@lemmy.ca
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      Same here. I wish Disa messenger app was maintained as it was my one stop shop for a few messenger apps.

            • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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              Fair enough.

              Personally, I don’t like using 30 year old technology to communicate. I avoid phone calls and I generally avoid SMS and it’s derivatives.

              I work in IT and generally demand more from my messaging apps. I still avoid FB like the plague though.

            • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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              Which are both not SMS/texting. I know iMessage falls back to SMS if the number doesn’t have iMessage, which is where the carrier spying comes in.

              Instead for iMessage, it’s Apple spying, and for signal it’s… Shrug

              • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                I trust iMesssge’s e2e and Apple’s privacy a fuckovalot more than anything Facebook has ever made.

                • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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                  That’s fine. I trust Google’s chat app more than SMS, and others, it’s all personal preference. The point of my comment was to demonstrate that no matter what you’re using, someone has your data and is likely selling it.

                  If you trust apple enough to use their service, all the power to you. If you trust signal/telegram/element/whatever, that’s cool too. But no matter what service you’re using, if it’s a free public service, your data is the product. It is, in all likelihood, being sold to someone somewhere.

                  It’s a personal choice for how much risk you’re willing to accept on that front. Bluntly, I don’t think anyone should trust FB or any of suckerberg’s properties. Everyone else is varying levels of shit. Some much worse than others… The decisions made beyond that point are personal.

                  And frankly, if someone almost exclusively uses FB messenger, it says to me that they don’t give any shits about their data or what happens to it. Everything else, meh. There’s good and bad from most companies, some are doing better (signal, as an example, seems to be doing pretty good), others, not so great… Meh.

        • AndreTelevise@lemm.ee
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          In our country, texting (through the built-in Messenger app) is mostly done as an emergency measure, as most people here use Meta’s other messaging app, WhatsApp.

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        They all have phone numbers you can text and they don’t need to install another app or sign up for anything at least. But I understand when they prefer it and you have a fb account anyways.

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          Good luck sending photos or holding a video call with the scant 1100 bits provided by an SMS message…

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          Sharing media over MMS is a garbage experience. I would need to convince them to use something reasonable, which is a lost cause.

      • jarfil@beehaw.org
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        Over 3 billion users combined.

        So, to answer your question: “Nearly everybody.”

        That’s overly dramatic, we’re over 8 billion already… so it’s “Nearly half of everybody” 😜

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      Australians apparently. That’s what my cousins said as the explanation for why their family chat was on Facebook.

      • dan@upvote.au
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        Messenger is the most popular messaging app in Australia by far. #2 is Apple/Facetime (which is about equal with WhatsApp in terms of market share) but there’s a huge gap between #1 and #2.

    • Kilgore Trout@feddit.it
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      Living in western Europe I would have said no one, but in most of central and eastern Europe is strictly necessary to reach anyone.

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    And they put a notification on your phone about it that you can’t remove… this infuriates me more than it should

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      You’re right, I did not even notice the persistent notification! What a unnecessarily annoying move. This deserved an early bird uninstall for me…

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      At least on my phone I could swipe the notification a bit to the left to reveal the cog, “disable notifications”, and disable the “standard” category of notifications.

      In other news, there’s no way in hell I’m installing the full app. People texting me there will just have to wait until I’m by a computer.

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        Yes, but that is the same notification category as your default one for messages, so disabling it will result in no message notifications at all.

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      Yeah I just turned off every notification from Messenger Lite after seeing that. Next month I might just uninstall it completely, or opt for the Matrix bridge.

    • clb92@feddit.dk
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      Another reason my phone is rooted. I want to have the final say in whether I can remove a notification or not on my phone.

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      I’m also on the uninstall boat with y’all, for this reason. Lucky me, I haven’t used messenger in a year so when I saw the notification didn’t hesitate. Haven’t logged on FB in years so I doubt anyone will try to reach me there.

    • cnnrduncan@beehaw.org
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      Unfortunately FB Messenger is the defacto way to communicate in some countries - if I refused to use it I’d fail uni as I wouldn’t be able to communicate with group members, I wouldn’t be able to contact most of my family, and the number of friends I can talk to would drop to about 5 (of which most have recently had children and are thus a bit preoccupied)

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      I use Telegram every day, but without end-to-end encryption (by default and on groups), it’s as private as Facebook Messenger. They can read everything. The only difference is that currently people trust them more than they trust Facebook, but everything turns to shit eventually.

      If Signal is too “boring” or no one uses it in your circles, try WhatsApp. Yes, it’s also from Meta, but at least comms are encrypted (same protocol as Signal) and a lot of people use it.

      • jack@monero.town
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        Really bad advice. Trading Meta app for Meta app. It is proprietary so you can be sure WhatsApp does not have encryption like Signal

        • dsmk@lemmy.zip
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          WhatsApp uses the Signal Protocol. Is it as private as Signal? No, it “leaks” way more metadata. Have I personally checked if they’re encrypting messages? Also no, although others have. Is it possible that they’re doing something “funny” and no longer encrypt? Yes, but is there any suggestion or proof of that being the case?

          Should you use WhatsApp? No, but the suggestion above was to use Telegram, a service that doesn’t do end-to-end encryption by default and leaks the same type of data as WhatsApp. Going from Messenger to Telegram is a sideways move. From Messenger to WhatsApp would be at least a small upgrade (with the benefit of having more contacts there than Telegram, at least in some countries).

          I understand the point about it also being a Meta app. I guess the question is what do you trust more? Telegram and the people behind it with your plain text messages or a Meta app with end-to-end encryption? I don’t trust either, so I pick encryption.

          I’m not anti Telegram or anything like that. It’s a nice app, lots of features, smooth, etc, and I use it, but privacy was never their main priority.

          • Satine@lemmy.basedcount.com
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            Where can I get info on Telegram storing messages in plain text on their servers? I have asked and searched and all I have seen are hypotheticals but nothing concrete.

            I’ve read through the audit they had in 2020 where cloud chats are encrypted using the same MT Proto 2.0 which they also use for the secret chats (E2EE).

            The same way that evidence is available, I would also like to see the evidence of cloud chats stored in plain text and not encrypted.

            • dsmk@lemmy.zip
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              I didn’t say anything about them “storing messages in plain text”. I said that they don’t do E2EE by default and since they have the keys for the TLS that encrypts data in transit, they can read the content of your messages. Encrypting their drives - something that any decent service does - only protects you if someone “steals” a drive: Telegram has the keys and can obviously read the contents of their drives.

              I found this Kaspersky blog post which provides a nice tl;dr. They even make the same point as me:

              Let’s go straight to the root of the problem: Telegram is a unique messenger with two types of chats: regular and secret. Regular chats are not end-to-end encrypted. Only secret ones are.

              No other messenger does this: even the notorious WhatsApp, part of Mark Zuckerberg’s data-hungry empire, uses end-to-end encryption by default. The user doesn’t need to do anything at all, there are no special checkboxes or anything: messages are protected from all outsiders (including the service owners) right out of the box.

              […]

              This is not new. Back in 2015, Edward Snowden had this to say about Telegram’s defaults:

              I respect @durov, but Ptacek is right: @telegram’s defaults are dangerous. Without a major update, it’s unsafe. [source]

              To be clear, what matters is that the plaintext of messages is accessible to the server (or service provider), not whether it’s “stored.” [source]

              In practice, they’re no different from Messenger, Slack, Discord or a direct message on Reddit. Most messages on Telegram can be read by them, just like Google can read all messages in your Gmail.

              Why is Signal or WhatsApp better? Because they do E2EE for all messages. It doesn’t matter if they forget to encrypt their servers, all they see and store is encrypted messages. You hold the keys, not them.

              • Satine@lemmy.basedcount.com
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                You mentioned “plain text” specifically - where else would they be holding those plain texts?

                So far, there is no evidence to suggest your messages are stored in plain text. And in 2015, Telegram was using MTProto 1.0 for their cloud chat encryption and Secret Chats E2EE. It’s been about 5-6 years since they’ve upgraded to MTProto 2.0 which has been proven to be a sound encryption protocol.

                It was Moxie Marlinspike that also made the claim messages are stored in plain text on Telegram’s server with no evidence. And so far, the only thing we have are hypotheticals and nothing of substance to support that claim.

                The audit done in 2020 goes over how Telegram encrypts their cloud chats and those encryption keys are not stored on the same servers. While E2EE is preferable, the reason why Telegram works the way it does is because how messages are handled by default.

                Hopefully soon they will roll out Secret Group chats. But I do like we all have the option to use Telegram however we want.

                • dsmk@lemmy.zip
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                  If you (user 1) are talking with your friend (user 2) through me (telegram) and I have the encryption keys, then for me (telegram) communications are essentially in plain text. I can even encrypt them 100 times… I have the keys and can read your (user 1 + user 2) messages.

                  You’re again talking about storing messages (not sure why). Telegram might encrypt their storage (I never claimed they didn’t), but they have the keys and therefore can read what’s stored. They also have the keys for the messages, so there’s no hypotheticals or claims here: they have the keys for everything, so they can read everything.

                  E2EE is opt-in and currently only available for direct chats. Unless you manually start a “secret chat”, there’s no E2EE MTProto 2.0 to help you. They can read everything.

                  The audit done in 2020 goes over how Telegram encrypts their cloud chats and those encryption keys are not stored on the same servers. While E2EE is preferable, the reason why Telegram works the way it does is because how messages are handled by default.

                  So… Telegram has the keys to decrypt your messages?

                  I mean, it’s not hard to understand. The party that holds the keys can read the messages.

    • 𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖘@infosec.pub
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      You (op) use telegram, and make a relay bot that redirects messages to/from fb messenger. You use the app of your choice, and they use the app of theirs. Big downside, is you’re still reliant on fb for messages.

  • agent_flounder@lemmy.one
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    I swear my battery life improved after I uninstalled messenger for a while and got worse after reinstalling recently.

    I wouldn’t have installed it except I was in the process of getting back in touch with a few old friends. Was totally worth it for that.

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      I’m on the same page. I would prefer not having those apps installed or even an account, but my friends are more worth to me than my IT ideals.

      • WagesOf@artemis.camp
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        It’s too bad that your friendship isn’t more important than ten minutes of inconvenience for them to install a different app or to give you their actual phone number.

        • tiwenty@jlai.lu
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          I find that you’re making a lot of assumptions on my friendships based on my 4 lines comment.

          I do chat with my friends via SMS or phone cause I indeed have their number. But you can’t deny that SMS for group chats is pretty gruesome.

          Based on that, everybody is used to those popular chat apps and have their other group chats on them. Why would I make them change when they work for what’s intended? Privacy is the best argument, but they may not all care enough to not find it bothering. So I don’t bother ¯_(ツ)_/¯

          • Rekorse@kbin.social
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            They dont work for what’s intended. Its an illusion to pull money from your content and your potential ad revenue.

            Thats not getting into any of the other sociological effects of a huge amount of people getting their daily news from Facebook message headlines.

        • Notnotmike@beehaw.org
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          It’s exactly what social media platforms, particularly Facebook, want. They want you to feel locked in because your friends are there

          I don’t know why people don’t just use more SMS. You don’t need all the fancy bells and whistles, it shouldn’t change the conversation you’re having, especially with the gradual rollout of rich messages, and it has a wider audience than Facebook will ever have. More people have SMS than have Facebook

            • Notnotmike@beehaw.org
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              Everyone outside of the U.S. almost assuredly still has SMS capabilities, it’s just not common utilized because everyone is already on WhatsApp or Telegram. It’s where their friends are, locking them into the ecosystem, which is exactly what I just said. And I would be willing to wager the only reason WhatsApp really got huge was because SMS hasn’t always been free to use and may still not be free in some countries and with some plans.

              Telegram, Signal and WhatsApp are fine, as for privacy how exactly are SMS better?

              I wasn’t speaking to privacy specifically, but where all your friends are.

              If you want privacy, then you shouldn’t be using Facebook Messenger or WhatsApp anyway, considering both are owned by Meta and their privacy track record is shaky at best.

              Signal is a great choice, but we get back to the main point where not everyone is on Signal, and once you are on Signal you’re locked in to using Signal and must have their app to participate in the conversation.

              My point wasn’t that SMS is better, but it’s simpler and more widely available and doesn’t require a standalone application to use.

              Ideally we would use an open standard like the Matrix standard to communicate, that way you can download whatever application you want and have all the privacy you could ever desire, but not have to download some random messaging application just to catch up from Gary from primary school

              • WagesOf@artemis.camp
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                I wish matrix would catch on too. Basically every non US app is still tied to a damn phone number for auth, so it’s not better than sms for mobility anyway.

            • Seasoned_Greetings@lemmy.ml
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              I’m not on board with sms being a better service in general, but it’s kind of difficult to argue that other messaging services are superior when sms is the only one designed to be accessible without internet access.

    • WashedOver@lemmy.ca
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      I’ve found the same thing with the IG and FB apps which is why I don’t use them. I stick to the mobile web versions but they have made it difficult to message from the android mobile web without extra steps like desktop mode. Even then there can be missing functionality.

      There was also an article earlier this year where they were purposely “testing” the apps that forcibly drained some user batteries quickly without a care for the actual users affected. Since I’m often using my phone for navigation in the woods I want as much battery life as possible please.

      Anyways if it wasn’t for older friends and family members I would no longer be using FB.

      • WashedOver@lemmy.ca
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        Certainly a argument can be made for this. For me it is the extended family and contacts from hobbies /sports. Without FB they would have completely faded out of my life. This low level method maintains a loose family connections once maintained by the senior family members that have long since passed. As for the others yes completely disappear from your life…

    • SokathHisEyesOpen@lemmy.ml
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      Of course it did. They’re tracking everything you do, and everywhere you go, even when the app isn’t running. Don’t believe me? Install the Duck Duck Go browser and enable App Tracking Protection. You will be shocked by the amount of shit so many apps track in the background, but Facebook is one of the worst.

    • jarfil@beehaw.org
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      Old people are there, some we care about, some have passed away…

      There are a few decent communities out there too. Not many, but a few.

    • smileyhead@discuss.tchncs.de
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      The only and I say the only good thing I can say about Facebook Messenger is… umm…

      Can somebody name at least one thing? Really, this app is shit but we must find one at least.

      • Zagorath@aussie.zone
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        At least in Australia it’s by far the most popular messenger app. It wins by a landslide thanks to the network effect.

        • smileyhead@discuss.tchncs.de
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          Because we have standards for at least 20 years for messaging I think we can’t say that networking effect is upside of some app, but rather the fact that everyone must use the same app is a downside.

        • Irina@beehaw.org
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          Yeah, there’s no real alternative here. Use messenger or Don’t talk to people.

      • realharo@lemm.ee
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        Yes, people using it as the main messaging app is still preferable to the situation in the US where people on different mobile platforms can’t message each other without bullshit compatibility issues and bubble colors.

        At least here it doesn’t matter what platform you’re on - including desktops and the web - and as a result nobody cares.

        Of course, the same is true for almost every other messaging service too, and there are better ones out there.

      • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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        Back when people used Facebook, it was a convenient way to connect people to chats quickly and easily. I don’t think that’s the case anymore though.

        • smileyhead@discuss.tchncs.de
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          It isn’t. Adding someone is always digging through people with the same name and searching for “that one with glasses on profile picture”. There are some codes to scan, but they are Facebook’s custom format incompatible with QR code scanners and inconvinient to use.

      • Overzeetop@beehaw.org
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        Facebook Messenger is probably the closest thing to a modern Yellow Pages as we have. Not everybody is on there, but most people are - even if they haven’t checked their profile in years. With the fall of landlines, it can be the easiest (or only) way to find/contact someone - especially if you’re a GenX or early Millennial because we have all dropped out landlines, but we created most of our social connections before any other messaging service existed. Heck, almost none of the people I knew from college in the 90s even had an email address that they stuck with (assuming I actually had email logs going back thirty years). It’s nice that so many message services exist, but most have no way to “look someone up” the way it’s possible to do on something like messenger/fb. (admittedly - it’s both good and bad)

        I suppose there’s a chance that LinkedIn is the other major database of real names out there; I’ve never tried it for locating people.

      • jarfil@beehaw.org
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        Some of my late mum’s friends only use Facebook. Not saying it’s ideal, but… a single good thing, right?

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        It’s the only reason I use it and, as much as I hate to admit it, it’s really well done/seamless/painless to use. Literally the only good think on FB (until they inevitably ruin it too). Has fantastic consumer protections.

  • Unsustainable@lemmy.today
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    You can use Beeper to replace all your communication apps. That way you only have to install one app, and you don’t have to have Meta installed.

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      1 year ago

      It sounds like a too good to be true situation. Definitely an interesting concept though. Sounds like they use remote servers to connect to the third-party apps using your credentials and then transcribe the messages using the Matrix protocol to the app. Source here and snippet below

      Beeper consists of two main components:

      • A client app that runs on your devices.
      • A web service run by Beeper.

      … Beeper’s web service consists of a Matrix homeserver and infrastructure to run open source bridges that connect to 15 different chat networks.

      Currently free but also will be a Plus version eventually rolling out, according to the FAQ

      For now, everyone has access to all the features of Beeper Plus for free. At some point in 2023, we will begin charging $5-10 per month for Beeper Plus.

      Also, no humor is lost on the fact that it is dangerously close to Wuph from The Office…

      • bananahammock@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        I signed up for beeper, but realized you can self host a matrix server that uses the same bridges between these chat services.

        I was skeptical at first, but it’s been super solid and refreshing to have a single chat app for everything.

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      1 year ago

      I signed up for this month’s ago and I’m still not in. Every time I log into the app to check my waitlist, I’m some random number in the 3000s, and not always lower than last time. Why is this do you know?

      • Ragincloo@lemmy.one
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        1 year ago

        I’ve never heard of beeper, but it sounds pretty inaccessible from what your saying. Is there something that makes it worth it? Or is it just another messaging app that nobody I need to speak with is using?

        • banjoman05@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          Just signed up myself, about 40k in line it seems. Sounds like reinventing Trillian/Gaim/Pidgin/etc…

          • steltek@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            It’s a modern take on the Pidgin concept. Pidgin ran locally on one computer and didn’t sync anything between any of your other Pidgin installs. Also, your login details for every account were usually in plaintext on disk. In practice, it feels

            Beeper (really Matrix + bridges) is a network service that you can access with a browser, mobile app, whatever.

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        1 year ago

        I was in the wait list for only 20 days, according to the email when I got in. No idea why I got in so fast but others have been waiting months.

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        1 year ago

        I signed up when it was first announced over a year ago. As of a couple months ago I still hadn’t gotten approved. I signed up again and within a couple days I got approved. You should try signing up again.

      • Duchess@yiffit.net
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        1 year ago

        Genuinely I just found an invite code from Google. Once you’re in the app is pretty much as advertised.

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    1 year ago

    This sucks.

    Can’t ditch it completely due to family, but got a few more contacts over on Signal after this announcement.

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      1 year ago

      Just log in to Facebook on desktop every couple of days. If they want speedy responses, they will know yto try an aternative medium.

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      1 year ago

      I don’t use Facebook so I don’t know -

      Why can’t you just have a group text with your family.

      • cnnrduncan@beehaw.org
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        Because SMS doesn’t support group chats and MMS is expensive garbage (50c/300kb is fucked)

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    1 year ago

    I can’t uninstall the Facebook app from my phone (not unless I use ADB), so it’s disabled. I uninstalled Messenger. I pinned a post on my FB page that said if people needed to contact me they can email me or text me. I have posted about why folks should leave these platforms until I am blue in the face. If they want to make the switch, they will. If they want to reach out, they will.

    Eventually, I want to get an unlocked phone, load a custom ROM, and tell the big platforms to fuck off. I resent how difficult they have made that, and I resent how complacent we have become because of it.

      • masterofn001@lemmy.ca
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        Carrier unlocked and oem bootloader unlocking are two very different things.

        In canada, all phones must now be free of carrier locks, but bootloader unlocking is a pain. The us version of my current phone can be oem unlocked.

        Mine can’t.

        So, i use a lot of adb/shizuku

      • Dane@beehaw.org
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        If I can get a custom ROM to work on my current phone, I’m all for it! I was looking at specific unlocked phone brands because some custom ROMS are optimized for that hardware.

        • WorseDoughnut 🍩@lemdro.id
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          1 year ago

          Check out the XDA Forums section for your carrier’s version of whatever model of phone you have. Not all carriers make it trivial (or even possible) to unlock the bootloader and flash custom recovery images, but if it’s possible then someone there has certainly done it.

      • ditty@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        My next phone will be a pixel so I can flash grapheneOS on it. I don’t think my Snapdragon S21 can run custom firmware without triggering Samsung Knox though

    • SokathHisEyesOpen@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Your phone came with Facebook installed and you can’t uninstall it? Fucking gross! Which phone is that so I know to never buy it?

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    1 year ago

    Or install an app called Metal.

    It’s a wrapper for the mobile webpage with all the intrusive permissions disabled by default.

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      1 year ago

      I just looked for this app and it looks like it hasn’t been updated since 2018. Am I wrong?

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        1 year ago

        Try Hermit on Android then. You’re looking for a PWA wrapper app that lets you add them to your homescreen. Then again, your Android web browser should already have this with the “Add to homescreen” feature.

      • Myoboku@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        On the play store page I got the message “not available on your device, this app has been designed for an older version of Android”, not updated since June 2018 and I can’t find it anywhere else, seems you’re not

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    1 year ago

    Here’s an idea. Stop using FB.

    I get it, your boomer parents/grandparents don’t know how to use anything else… But you can show them. It’s very similar and doesn’t suck as much.

    I understand this move from FB too… Rather than maintain two apps, that both do the same thing, just maintain one. However, without the ability to turn off all the bloat and crap in the one app to make it very similar to the other, I don’t see that being viable for many, and I’m sure they don’t let you do that, so, ha ha, get fucked.

    Anyways, Facebook is a cancer.

    • Kilgore Trout@feddit.it
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      1 year ago

      All of my international friends use Facebook Messenger.

      e-mail is an alternative, yes, but to put obstacles to how can you be contacted is how you lose touch with each other.

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        If I’m always going to where my friends are, and they never come to where I am, are they really my friends?

        These are the questions I constantly mull over to try to figure out. It’s extremely important to me that me and my friends are on equal footing, we’re both partners in the friendship, neither is following the other’s lead. I’ve lost many friends by simply not being the first person to send a message.

        To me, I’d rather have fewer friends who have me as an active part of their life, versus a lot of friends I’m constantly making concessions for that wouldn’t do the same for me.

        With all that said, I’m not you and I have no control over your choices. Do what you will.