grade school Bible class:

Teacher: I want you all to read this passage and this passage tonight and then be ready to talk about what you think it means tomorrow.

Tomorrow: I read those two passages. And I think they mean this. But question, I read a bunch more and I saw this kind of stuff and that kind of stuff.

Teacher: Oh, yeah, you should just read on ahead into things. There’s a lot of stuff in there that you’re not ready for.

Me: There was stuff in there about hearding people for doing things that don’t seem that bad. That’s not what we teach here.

Teacher: Um, yeah, they don’t actually mean what they’re saying.

Me: So how do you tell when they mean what they’re saying versus when they don’t mean what they’re saying?

Teacher: That’s why you’re not ready yet.

Me: I don’t think a book should have those kind of things in it, if it doesn’t mean them. I really don’t think the people should decide what it means or what it doesn’t mean.

Teacher: That’s why it’s really important to go to church to learn it.

Me: That doesn’t make it any better.

I didn’t stay in religious school for very much longer.

about the time I started learning that it was a bunch of religious big wigs deciding what books were going to be included.