What does “Xbox” mean? Some might say it can only refer to a box-shaped Microsoft game machine. Others will argue it’s a collection of Xbox-native titles like Halo, Gears, Forza, and Fable. I think most would probably agree it’s a game console experience, a way to kick back and easily play the latest games without thinking too much. Press the power button, play, press it again to pause.

The 7-inch Xbox Ally and Xbox Ally X gaming handhelds, on sale tomorrow, don’t meet that bar. The cheaper one doesn’t even come close.

They run Windows 11, and they never let you forget it — not during their lengthy setup process, not when you’re trying to navigate their menus, and not when you want the latest games to “just work.” They also don’t play Xbox games designed for an Xbox console, only Xbox games ported to PCs; when GTA VI comes out next May without a PC version, you won’t be playing it here. Not unless you’re streaming from the cloud.