Cap

Might find your answer here around the 50,000 year mark.

If you think “loading the dishwasher” means getting your wife drunk, you might be a redneck.

-Jeff Foxworthy

There are no shortcuts. Only short bridges.

Is the faucet giving the pasta a blowjob?

Hello. Yes, I’d like one nightmare for the evening, please.

What a waste of a $200+ text book!

The aim of the clause was to prevent scalping of the truck.

Missing rung on lower end causes baby to slip out prior to launch half the time. Launch distance is subpar compared to other yeet machines.

I know it was made for Victorian babies but mine is Edwardian. One out of five stars, would not recommend.

At first I thought that circle was just another one of those straws.

Mine is the infinity debt stone.

Life IS hard which us why I don’t have time to care much about the more superficial things in life. Your Door Dash food is cold? Well, cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it! My sh*tter’s full and my only other option is a log in the poison ivy patch!

Knowing my luck I’ll get the Poltergeist house.

I’m just glad people are still naming their kids Tony.

A good portion of that half that died are the fuckers I stumbled upon in the woods that ended up stinging me.