I did this to all my parents’ bookshelves when I was about 8. For the next 45 years they blamed me every time they couldn’t find a book.

They’ll float UK Plc on the stock market then dump their shares.

My boss gave me a hand job under the table in a pub at my first ever works Christmas party. Don’t know if that counts as interesting but it captured my attention at the time.

~Worth it!~

So you’re saying the walrus probably has the pies now?

Because it (wait for it, wait for it, ready?) pie-jacked them!

Guidance is also being published today to provide more detail on which food and drink categories will be covered by the regulations

It will be interesting to see how that guidance is a. interpreted, and b. bypassed.

Round up the usual suspect: Weebl.

I’ve been huffing tea for years. Cough, cough.

Gissit. I’ll write some AI shit for £20m. Go on. Gissit.

How a post on Reddit accidentally kickstarted the revival of Angus Steakhouse

Didn’t the headline writer read the article? There was nothing accidental about it.

Mmmm, the sweet, succulent taste of chlorinated chicken.

Peanuts are probably one of your five-a-day or some such so, yeah, five deep-fried Snickers a day sounds like solid nutritional science.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but are deep-fried Bounty Bars on the healthy list or the unhealthy list? How are we supposed to know?

Well, shit, that’s the platform dead to me then!

Drop us a hundred grand, Paul, and I’ll let you know if it’s reliable or not.

Bless the free market, making everything better!

Fuck vapers billowing out their enormous clouds of nauseating, fetid, fruit guffs. I don’t want to smell your straw-fucking-berry exhalation, you self-absorbed wankers.

I’ve got the pox, so that’s a pretty clear sign that the end times are upon us.

Shocking. I have a small studio flat (it’s not much but comfortable) in a surgical operating theatre but will they let me incinerate tyres in an old oil drum? No, they will not!

Fuck vapes and fuck vapers. I don’t want to breathe your cloud of toxic fake-fruit-smelling shit.