They start small, and get big like that if they’re undisturbed. Show up in lawns sometimes too. Taste sour, in a nice way.

Please don’t disable the alerts just because they’re irritating. They have saved so many lives, even though they fuck up sometimes.

Just, instead of panicking, do a quick internet check if you don’t have other evidence of the danger. You might find that you’re not in the danger zone yet but might be soon if the wind changes or whatever. Then you can monitor the situation.

You can also consider them a message from the Universe to check up on your emergency stuff: How much drinking water and food do you have and is it expired? Do you have a bug-out bag and do the pants in it still fit? What would you use to carry all your regular meds? (Don’t store just a few pills, scoop up all the bottles of what you’re normally using, because it might be awhile before you get refills) Do you have a litterbox and food for your cat, as well as a carrier? What about any important documents, know where they are? And where would you go?

Great! If you haven’t already, shower and text her you’re clean and available, although of course you understand if she’s busy right now.

Always keep at least three days worth of drinking water in your home, a gallon per person per day. So many emergency situations, large or small, can make water unavailable or unsafe. Having filters is also helpful, but you need actual full bottles on hand. For less plastic, go with the big bottles, you can drink from cups. And OP could have washed pits and crotch at least using some of his drinking water, since it’s not citywide so he could buy more on the way home from coffee.

That one made me snort!

Honestly, it’s a huge unexpected step from “meet for coffee” to “come shower in my apartment.” Or depending how you worded it, you could sound like you’re just trying to bail on getting together. Just because you’re not lying it’s not necessarily believable, especially in a dating context. Maybe try again when you’re done dealing with this and clean again.

Seems to me your definition of intelligence ignores whole aspects of true intelligence, at least of the human kind, such as emotional intelligence and social intelligence and artistic intelligence and moral intelligence…

“Problem solving” is the name for what you described and it doesn’t necessarily require intelligence. In fact most intelligent people have encountered situations where it made solving a problem more difficult.

Cool, if it’s also Art Nouveau.

Burnt to a crisp, and spicy

Guess you’ll have to bring fresh-baked cookies to work then, for cover. And also sharing. Pro tip: make them large, then break a few in half, depending on the gender splits in your workplace. Women who would like a cookie but feel guilty because of norms about dieting will happily take a half. Or maybe break off a quarter. But they won’t break one if none are already broken. Most men will enjoy taking a whole one because diet norms don’t apply to them. A few people will enjoy virtuously refusing them because vegan or keto or something. Nobody will notice you smell like vanilla.

If you’re not a baker, or you have a friend with celiac, Rice Krispy Bars also have vanilla and are gluten free.

Original? You smell like my dad. I’m 65. Still a great scent though. As a little girl I’d dab it behind my ears for perfume.

You guys don’t get it. Those products smell like that to appeal to women. If anyone even notices you smell like a woman, the obvious inference is that you have a girlfriend. Or at least spent the night with a woman. If it’s dilute enough to not really be noticeable, women will just find it appealing. Vanilla in particular is non-gendered, what you smelled like was a cookie!

How about putting googly eyes on your nuts and making a video selfie of them to send Facebook?

🏀🍆👀⚽

Yes, basically you want (because this is from a jeans company) to create a shank under the button, lifting it enough to fit thick fabric, but evenly so the button sits flat on top!

Tell your wife the situation beforehand, because it’s possible the girl will tell lies in retaliation for her hurt feelings. If she’s been crushing on you the scenarios are already in her head, she won’t even have to make them up. Stay calm and remember you’re the adults.

My husband is quadriplegic, has been our whole marriage, so travel has been very difficult, and as we’ve gotten older (that toddler’s 30 now) it’s pretty much impossible. I agree with your point though, too many people put off traveling for retirement and then realize they’re not able to enjoy it.

I think you got autoincorrected from “deployable”

Well I will agree with you in principle, and stick to showers at home. The most enjoyable bath of my life was when I was about 8 months pregnant and we took a weekend at a very swanky hotel, our room had such a big closet our toddler set up the foldout bed in it as her own room. The bathtub was enormous, the hot water constant, the suds delightful, and I floated blissfully free of gravity. And yes, being able to just drain and rinse and refill so the toddler could swim in it, and know someone else would clean it for pay was a big part of the enjoyment.

Brilliant. Now help me figure out how to relax in the tub without thinking about how I’m going to have to clean the tub when I get out

Maybe an orange viola?