Sent you some money, hope you can use it to feel better 🫂

That’s all we can really do

Thanks for the tip :)

There’s a lot going on in my life and I’m just trying my fucking best to keep everything on rails. But girl I’m fucking tired and I’m not done by far.

Here’s my diary entry:

• I’ve decided to let my contract expire and look for a new job. I didn’t want to leave the company but I did want to get away from my energy vampire coworkers that have never cared about me. Even now that I’m leaving they’re showing 0 signs of empathy. Pretty sure they never gave a shit about me. Which is their perogative, but I definitely am not staying there. Anyway, I tried to look for a different position internally (enterprise size company should have something). Unfortunately, and completely missing the irony, my manager hid behind ‘management is being difficult’ and failed to arrange a transfer in time.

• Finding a new job is easy. I’m being bombarded by recruiters and they probably mean well. Unfortunately I appear to have missed the memo where being a data engineer means you have to have experience with Azure to get taken into consideration. That’s interesting, didn’t know we all sold our souls to Microsoft in the corporate domain as well.

• I’m gonna come out as non binary to my mom. I’ve been putting it off for about 1.5 years now and it’s time. I asked her to come with me to get my ears pierced and she excitedly agrees. I think she suspects, she’s definitely dropped hints before that suggest she understands I don’t see myself as just AMAB. So that’s good. But still scary. Excited about being able to wear earrings though oh my god THE OUTFITS ARE GONNA LOOK AMAZING

• One of my best friends expanded his single partner relationship into a two partner relationship and now he barely speaks to me anymore. I’ve consulted with mutual friends and they experience the same. I don’t really want to confront him but I expect I’ll need to at some point. I don’t like confrontation. I confronted him in August when he failed to show up for my birthday. He apologised and I said he needs to be a better friend. This coincided with the decline in interaction so it feels like I’m pushing him away by expecting too much. I don’t think I’m expecting too much though, I’m just holding him to the same standards as before. If I’m honest with myself he’s not very good at being a friend and never has been. I just really like him and want to spend time together. So does he but he’s a terrible communicator. Ugh

• I went to my first drag show, saw Bosco and others, feel so blessed to have seen god’s favourite transsexual

• Gonna start my sewing class next month I’m really stoked to at some point know how to make my own clothes that finally do some fucking gender affirming for once helloooooo

Started playing undertale :)

I know this sounds condescending but isn’t this more of a reading comprehension / media literacy problem than an AI problem? These people apparently believe whatever an LLM tells them and, critically, only realised they were being goaded when they asked a different LLM. Sounds like the problem is between keyboard and monitor, no? If you can’t critically evaluate information being sent your way, no matter who from, you’re at risk of delusion. We see it all around us, really AI only accelerates the proces.

On the one hand, it’s nice to be able to have the recruiter AI agent I made write applications for me because I hate that part. After that, I can do the interviews myself just fine and I’m all good.

On the other hand, it feels disgusting and lazy.

But it works much better than last time I was job hunting (last year) and did everything by hand.

It’s showing me that (as far as I can tell) recruiters don’t give a shit and barely read what you send them. They’ll reach out as long as your LinkedIn is SEO optimised.

Depressing but true

Lmao even

You inspired me to get some Naomi Klein books!! Excited to start reading them.

How’s my week? It’s alright. Gonna be a busy one with lots of activities, but it should be mostly fun.

Yeah maybe cause it doesn’t have any benefits for me

The black themes went so hard. I miss XP

Stellaris popup ass title lol

Yay!!! I love that for you

Work is tough atm.

Ordered some books by / about enbies, really excited for those! My first time reading something other than fantasy/scifi in ages, so we’ll see how that goes.

That’s not a fun fact at all :(

Had a nice chill easter weekend. Things are okay, but I feel anxious.

Last week one of my best friends told me he thought I didn’t really want to see him anymore because I don’t seem to enjoy his company as much recently. I was absolutely shook but luckily I quickly realised the issue which is that I’ve been getting complacent in our friendship.

Tbh I have to do most of the work in a lot of my friendships and I’ve been really tired and this is my one friend that actually does a lot of the emotional work himself. Which led me to take that space for granted or at least not show my appreciation. It was definitely a wake up call.

Anyway now I’m planning a bunch of stuff to do together with my bestie so we’ll be grand again in the future :)

Happy birthday! It’s okay to not feel like it sometimes. I wish you a very cozy and comfortable day. Enjoy your own company ❤️

Haha yeah I can relate. I broke the joystick really quickly and after a couple years I decided to get something new. Ended up buying a new fidget cube but I kind of hate it. It’s not the same and I need it to be the same 🥲

I’ve always liked my fidget cube, although the original run was a lot better quality than the current ones

Made too many plans, now I’m tired but luckily the weekend is nearly there so I can rest do even more

I spontaneously booked a hairdresser appointment last weekend and really enjoyed getting my hair cut. The differences are quite small but it made me feel euphoric :)

No one at work has noticed ofc but fuck them I’m vibin 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️