Reddit refugee

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 17th, 2023

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  • No, I don’t think you’re going to hit someone, but you did say worse people than you are in relationships, and I was reminding you that bad people do hit women, and scare them in to never leaving. Neither of us think that is the type of relationship you want.

    As I’ve said before, one day you’ll realise that your attitude contributes to - but didn’t create - your situation. Insisting you are utterly powerless keeps you in that hole.

    I am not saying you need to change. What I am saying is that the negative part of your personality is drowning out all other parts. Those parts are still there, they are still as much a part of you as they always were, but you just can’t hear them.

    You are not helpless, you are not broken.

    When was the last time you can remember being happy? Think back, it may have been a very long time ago, what was it you were doing?



  • If it was only that, it wouldn’t be representative of reality. For me to be able to have a good relationship required a lot of change. Namely I had to accept some responsibility for my situation and stop pretending it was only other people’s fault.

    A relationship is a partnership, it requires everyone involved to bring good things to it. If they don’t, it will fail.

    You don’t have to be beautiful, or rich, or famous to be in a relationship, but if you aren’t nice to speak to, or be around, trustworthy, caring, considerate, etc, why would anyone want to spend their life with you?

    You refuse to except your attitude and actions have contributed in any way to your situation. As a result, you will never be in a relationship.

    It’s your decision. Your circumstances won’t change over night, it will take a long time and a lot of work, but if you really want to, you’re absolutely capable of it. You are not fundamentally broken and irreparable.


  • Now you’re just lying to yourself, this is from my original comment.

    Many, many, years and 3 more failed relationships on, I’m 9 years in to a very stable long term relationship with someone I absolutely adore. My single goal is to not repeat the same mistakes as before, and we tackle everything as a team. If we’re feeling uneasy we speak to each other and help each other. I’m so proud of what we have built together. She is the smartest, most empathetic and kindest person I know. I count myself so lucky that she is my best friend, a willing big spoon, and I get to play with her boobies. It’s incredible.