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Cake day: July 6th, 2023

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  • itsnicodegallo@lemm.eetoMemes@lemmy.mlAsking a serious question
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    3 months ago

    As somebody with social anxiety, it sounds like your MIL also has social anxiety. Hence, the constant need to have to reinforce that other people can stand her. I had to train this out of myself in my late teens/early 20s.

    I know it’s annoying to deal with, but showing a little compassion and simply affirming that you’re exhausted but her relationship with you is secure will go a long way for her. She’ll probably get used to you being quiet around her too.


  • I think it’s really ironic when I see these memes, because it highlights how our own heads will highlight the things that grate against our own nerves.

    I assume everybody that this resonates with resonates with it because they themselves have been told to go against their nature and wanna know why the other side hasn’t.

    I’m the other end of that spectrum. I promise you, people told me all that. “Mind your peers. Share the space. Stop being…so much. Learn to be comfortable in silences. What can’t you shut the fuck up?”

    I have autism, so I didn’t understand why I was always screwing it up. I also hated hearing, “Be yourself. People will like you for who you are,” because I found that when I stopped trying to mask, I’d immediately hear all of the above all over again.

















  • Don’t be a reductionist. If that’s all your cat was and that’s all your relationship was, then fine. If it wasn’t, you owe it to that cat to remember all the good times you two had between when it came to life and when it lost its life. Do it for the cat.

    Then, when you’ve finally moved past this point, realize how much joy you gave that cat. Know that you did something beautiful in letting that cat know it was loved from beginning to end. Think about the cat’s perspective. Its death may have sucked; they rarely don’t. Now think about every moment that cat experienced growing up and being with you. Every sense of relief that cat felt when you came home. Every wave of comfort when you gave it pets. Every moment of safety it felt when you cared for it.

    I know how sad you are, and I know this is tough love here, but that’s what carried me through losing my dog on Christmas 2022 and her sister December 16th 2023. We did our best. They couldn’t have had happier lives. I’m glad we could do that for them. It was worth the weeks of agonizing grief for the 14 and 16 years of happiness they experienced.