This just feels like either

A. He doesn’t fully get what satire is and assumes it has to be lighthearted or

B. He’s using “provocative” to basically mean “clickbait, but I’m too pretentious to call it that”

This is the none pizza left beef of sandwiches

Shh!" said Ford. “It’s conical. So what you do is, you see, you fill it with fine white sand, alright? Or sugar. Fine white sand, and/or sugar. Anything. Doesn’t matter. Sugar’s fine. And when it’s full, you pull the plug out… are you listening?” “I’m listening.” "You pull the plug out, and it all just twirls away, twirls away you see, out of the plughole. “Clever.” “That’s not the clever bit. This is the clever bit, I remember now that this is the clever bit. The clever bit is that you then thread the film in the projector… backwards!” “Backwards?” “Yes. Threading it backwards is definitely the clever bit. So then, you just sit and watch it, and everything just appears to spiral upwards out of the plughole and fill the bath. See?” “And that’s how the Universe began is it?” said Arthur. “No,” said Ford, "but it’s a marvelous way to relax.

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I mean you’re entitled to your opinion but surely this whole thread is evidence to the fact that people also enjoy Halloween. Halloween extending earlier doesn’t really affect anything, there’s not much in the way of holidays in September or hell, even August. Nobody is gonna claim pumpkins and candy are ruining Labor Day. Whereas beyond a certain point, Christmas starts to steamroll other holidays like some sort of tinsel covered Akira. I don’t think it’s unfair to want to enjoy Halloween on it’s own without being inundated with Mariah Carey.

Also we gotta put the line somewhere before it just invades the whole bloody year. You’ve got most of two freaking months already.

Honestly it’s probably in part BECAUSE OF the damn early Christmas decorations that Halloween stuff has been expanding earlier into the fall/summer. Because by mid October you have to wade through a sea of holly jolly bullshit to get to it. Anyone with an issue with the early Halloween stuff, go take it up with Christmas for trying to annex October and not staying on their fucking side of the 31st.

I want a ‘Korm’ shirt now

I worked in a worker’s comp adjacent field for a while. The majority of injuries in police were absolutely vehicular in nature. Second place would be “was trying to chase a far more physically fit suspect on foot and fell/pulled something”, that happens waaaay more frequently than you would expect.

Guessing less about the sign itself and more about the heavy equipment/traffic obstruction involved in getting it down.