Sign up for a Pilates membership. Go regularly. Seek to make friends. Work on improving yourself in that class. The group will likely be mostly women. Now, your goal is NOT to find a mate in that class. Don’t be a creep. Embrace your inner warmth and genuinely and build friendships. Don’t fake this. Those women know other women that are looking for a mate, and would recommend you if you can be a genuine human being.





The lemmy instance you choose (for example, you chose .ml) to join will have its own tone, flavor, rules, politics. You will find instances that are left, right, and center. Additionally you will find some that are VERY far-left or VERY far-right. If you are finding the tone for the lemmy community (equivalent of reddit subreddit) different that your position, it may be because its hosted and moderated on an instance with that particular bend.
You may also experience some judgment from others because of the instance you are coming from as it can communicate some of your positional bias. Some users have chosen to relocate to other lemmy instances once they get an understanding of what ideas live where.
All of that said, while lemmy and the fediverse has a much smaller userbase than Reddit, it is so much nicer here. My last post to reddit was over 2 years ago, and every post I hear about how bad it is getting over there confirms this is the better place here.