What makes a salad?

here, i have some lettuce. and - here - i have some carrots. let’s mix 'em!

salad?

and why is lettuse such a nessecary ingredient? i mean oh my it’s a leaf

unshittable.

WHO PUT ALL THESE VIENNA SAUSAGES ON MY FRETBOARD!!?

Unfortunately, these experiments are being performed by people who know EXACTLY what they’re doing. We’re not in the 1940s any more. Fucking hell. If I had the personal power, I’d gladly rain holy hellfire upon these wholly inexcusable, inexorable, inexcrimentinable human fecal chunks.

Suggestion: Let’s NOT do the shit they do instead!

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just started looking for a new job for the first time since around 2008… am i correct to assume that absolutely NOTHING is real any more? not just craigslist (which is funny to think i’m looking for a job there to begin with, but fuck i’ve checked everything). i’ve sent out so many resumes, and i think it’s all just fake posts collecting data. how does anyone apply for a fucking job these days? i can’t even find reputable postings for call centers any more.

it’s been said in other words here, but that should be good news to you. you’re probably waiting to hear that you’re in good health because your doctor is busy telling the guy next door how long he last left to live.

i once waited 7 hours once for stitches in emergency because i cut my hand on a broken glass. the guy that came in after me (AFAIK) was an OD in an ambulance.

I don’t think they care about our Yelp reviews.

There should be a chastity belt on Uber Eats with a dollar sign for a keyhole.

1. Tell them that’s what it really stands for
2. Say it over and over and over and over
3. Country fixed. America is great again!

I mean, it’s already worked on them already…

not a stupid question, and the answer is yes! potatoes are really resilient. you can reproduce them by cutting off and planting their ‘eyes’ (sorry, that’s the word for it - eww), and they also contain a ton of energy that lets them reach out like something from a nightmare.

i once forgot about a bag of potatoes i bought and left under the kitchen sink for a while. it was like a scene from a Cronenberg movie when i found it

Behold the Tuberphim!

you had me at “can’t grow potatoes”

Infinite eyes

reminds me of the super best friends speech from south park back in the day