I’m sick to my stomach. My healthy labrador died suddenly on Saturday. He was fine Friday afternoon, got nauseous Friday night, and I was waiting for the vet to open at 8am Saturday to get him in there. He got unresponsive and barely breathing around 6am and I rushed him to the vet ER, and he didn’t make it. The vet said he had a “torsioned spleen” or something like that.
I’ve got an absolutely soul crushing amount of guilt that I didn’t get him to the ER on Friday night. My dog trusted me to protect him and take care of him, and I completely betrayed that trust. I’m in such a place of deep sorrow that it’s impossible to explain with words. Every time I start to fall asleep, I’m suddenly wide awake trying to figure out why I decided not to act sooner.
Not sure why I’m sharing this, I guess I just had to get it off my chest.
I’m so sorry for your loss and what you’re going through 🫂
It might not be possible right now but please give yourself some grace. You were attentive to his condition and when it worsened you acted immediately. I can’t imagine a better kind of human to place trust in, and I can’t imagine him not knowing how hard you tried, how much you cared, or that he would ever blame you.
Hey thanks, I appreciate you. What you’re saying is all probably true, but I can’t shake this horrible feeling that I failed him. I like my dog more than I like most people I meet, and he was with me all day every day. I hope this feeling lessens with time.
I’ll tell you that it does - or at least, the remembering becomes slightly less painful as time goes on. The lessons really stick, but it becomes easier to remember all the good stuff, and those are the things you should hold on to the hardest during those difficult times.
And I’m glad you shared with us, if for no other reason than helping you process your grief. I’m sure we’re all sending our love, hoping to lighten the load in some small way.
Hey just came across this and I hope you’re doing alright today. Losing a pet is never easy. It’s easy to second-guess yourself after the fact but there’s no way you could’ve known what was happening. What you saw was pretty standard “my dog got into something they probably shouldn’t have“ territory and any vet worth their salt would’ve probably told you “just wait to bring them in tomorrow unless you see lots of blood.”
I did talk to my dog’s usual vet and he basically said the same thing - there probably wasn’t anything I could have done. There wasn’t any blood and he wasn’t crying at all, he just laid there. I’m doing better than I was when I posted, but its still painful. He was only 6 and acted like a big puppy up til the last 12 hours he was with us.
Choked up just thinking of how you are feeling. Losing a pet, and so suddenly is the worst.
Please be gentle with yourself. Hesitant to suggest much, as you sound so vulnerable just now.
What kind of things do you think might be distracting or soothing when you notice your mind has drifted into the self-blame stuff? Are there any friends who live nearby that you could visit?
Just following up because it seems like you’re interested. It’s been two weeks now, and after talking to his usual vet about what happened, he convincingly reassured me that I didn’t do anything wrong, and after opening up to other people I know, I’m in a much better place now. I’m still heartbroken, but at least I’m not blaming myself anymore.
I’m sick to my stomach. My healthy labrador died suddenly on Saturday. He was fine Friday afternoon, got nauseous Friday night, and I was waiting for the vet to open at 8am Saturday to get him in there. He got unresponsive and barely breathing around 6am and I rushed him to the vet ER, and he didn’t make it. The vet said he had a “torsioned spleen” or something like that.
I’ve got an absolutely soul crushing amount of guilt that I didn’t get him to the ER on Friday night. My dog trusted me to protect him and take care of him, and I completely betrayed that trust. I’m in such a place of deep sorrow that it’s impossible to explain with words. Every time I start to fall asleep, I’m suddenly wide awake trying to figure out why I decided not to act sooner.
Not sure why I’m sharing this, I guess I just had to get it off my chest.
I’m so sorry for your loss and what you’re going through 🫂
It might not be possible right now but please give yourself some grace. You were attentive to his condition and when it worsened you acted immediately. I can’t imagine a better kind of human to place trust in, and I can’t imagine him not knowing how hard you tried, how much you cared, or that he would ever blame you.
Hey thanks, I appreciate you. What you’re saying is all probably true, but I can’t shake this horrible feeling that I failed him. I like my dog more than I like most people I meet, and he was with me all day every day. I hope this feeling lessens with time.
I’ll tell you that it does - or at least, the remembering becomes slightly less painful as time goes on. The lessons really stick, but it becomes easier to remember all the good stuff, and those are the things you should hold on to the hardest during those difficult times.
And I’m glad you shared with us, if for no other reason than helping you process your grief. I’m sure we’re all sending our love, hoping to lighten the load in some small way.
You’re an amazing person, and I hope you know that. Thank you.
Hey just came across this and I hope you’re doing alright today. Losing a pet is never easy. It’s easy to second-guess yourself after the fact but there’s no way you could’ve known what was happening. What you saw was pretty standard “my dog got into something they probably shouldn’t have“ territory and any vet worth their salt would’ve probably told you “just wait to bring them in tomorrow unless you see lots of blood.”
I did talk to my dog’s usual vet and he basically said the same thing - there probably wasn’t anything I could have done. There wasn’t any blood and he wasn’t crying at all, he just laid there. I’m doing better than I was when I posted, but its still painful. He was only 6 and acted like a big puppy up til the last 12 hours he was with us.
Thanks for the reply. I truly appreciate it.
Happy to help. Stay strong and remember you gave him a great home!
I’m so sorry 💔 Your actions sound completely responsible given what you knew. I don’t think anyone here would have predicted the outcome.
Sweetheart,
Choked up just thinking of how you are feeling. Losing a pet, and so suddenly is the worst.
Please be gentle with yourself. Hesitant to suggest much, as you sound so vulnerable just now.
What kind of things do you think might be distracting or soothing when you notice your mind has drifted into the self-blame stuff? Are there any friends who live nearby that you could visit?
Just following up because it seems like you’re interested. It’s been two weeks now, and after talking to his usual vet about what happened, he convincingly reassured me that I didn’t do anything wrong, and after opening up to other people I know, I’m in a much better place now. I’m still heartbroken, but at least I’m not blaming myself anymore.
Am so glad you spoke with the vet and that you’ve escaped that part of things.
Much love to you!