I was popular in primary school. Then, in High School I hung out with friends who were into Dr Who and nerdy stuff, because I knew and liked them and could never play the social status game by just cutting them off to be cool.

Four years in, when i was about 15, one of the jocks decided that we were gay (which was social death in the early 90s in rural Scotland), so my status plummeted even further.

That summer, at 16, I got drunk and had sex with a girl, which was something we both regretted. The rumour got out and that seemd to elevate me, socially. By this point me and my friends were big into Nirvana and had formed our own little clique of stoners so the jocks left us alone.

I look back on it all with some regret. I wish I’d been more confident. I would have liked to have been involved in team sports and activities that I was drawn to, but my friends derided.

My understanding is that these days kids are less socially segregated and you’ll find nerds doing physical stuff and jocks trying to be academic. Dunno if that’s true, but it sounds like progress.

It was really university that changed me. I left the small town and found people outside that tiny place to be friendlier, and I grew in confidence.

Looking back, I think the socially harder times in school made me who I am. I’m fairly resilient and find it easier than my colleagues to communicate with others and find common ground. It was a baptism of fire and I was miserable through my teens, but now life is pretty manageable.

No, never was. I’m glad I’m not.

And to hit it home how unpopular I was, when I got my senior yearbook, I was in a particular section of the book where they seemingly put the undesired students in. Like, every senior got pages where they got nice pictures, they got a quote and some bio of them. Where I was at, there was none of that, just a couple pages of pictures of students they don’t care for, even though we all got the same piece of paper that asked us what we’d like to say. Didn’t matter.

Funny how none of the people who ran that yearbook staff, went on to do bigger and greater things. I haven’t heard of or read their names doing anything significant. Just goes to show people just have a lot of ego in schools.

Wouldn’t say so, wasn’t bullied or anything but I was someone who was always around people but like on the side occasionally saying some morbid shit

It’s weird because at the time I remember feeling like a big loser and like I was really wasting my youth, but looking back yeah. I had a ton of friends, was often out doin drugs with my bros, lost my virginity to both sexes, had the lead role in our theater club, had a kickass job as a lifeguard… kinda the stereotypical “cool kid” high school life.

Kinda a damn shame looking back because I was so depressed and abused by my parents that I couldn’t enjoy it.

no, i was more of the silent dumb kid

I was liked amongst the nerds and band people. Outside of that nobody knew me. I’m fine with that.

lolno. I was teased relentlessly. My parents did nothing to stop it either. They could have home schooled me or changed schools or whatever. But nope. Did nothing

Not really during gradeschool or highschool. We moved around a lot so being the New kid every time was not easy. That changed when I entered college, I had a blast and was super popular: Got invited to parties all the time, karaoke contests, barbecues, summer outings, etc.but kind of an anomally at the same time because of the fact I was a scholarship student in a private university surrounded by rich kids. I graduated top of my class and elected valedictorian. With time most of those relationships fizzled down and while I still keep in touch with some of my classmates who were closer to me, I only keep one good friend from that time. Me and him are tight as thieves and have been through many many things together over the years. Now in my mid forties I have been able to make new true friends through shared interests or some who started as clients or neighbors or other roles, that have now become friends and I feel happy and content about it.

When I first entered high school I wanted to be popular; I associated with all the “cool” kids and even started a half-fake relationship with one of the popular girls. For some reason, one day they all just turned on me and continued bullying me heavily throughout high school…

I’m actually glad it happened, though. All of those “cool” kids were, how do I put this… fucking morons. A bunch of them were literal drug dealers.

So popular I had to quit and go to work full time

Nope. I was the satellite friend. I orbit around other people’s friendships and made no effort to foster my own.

I was well-liked, but not what I’d consider “popular” per se. I ended up being friends with a bunch of people from the various cliques and extracurriculars.

I worked in the school theater (peep my username lol) and ended up running shows for a bunch of different groups. Many of the football players were extras in the musicals, the cheerleaders were in the dance shows, the band kids were in concerts, etc… And all of the super outgoing popular kids were actors. So I didn’t belong to any of those circles, but I had plenty of friends in each. I could reliably show up at any of the various school functions and find some friends to hang out with.

I was something like a popular class clown eventually. The first six years of school (ages 7 to 13)(or really 6 to 13, because i had the same classmates since preschool in the same building) I went to a really small school in my more rural part of the rural town that I grew up in (seriously the entire school had three classrooms in the building with one teacher teaching two different years at the same time i guess? because there were still 6 different classes for each year, and i seem to remember it being like that, but i seriously can’t be sure anymore). So weren’t enough people to start discriminating against. But then the last three I went to the larger school in the centre of our town (and where everyone from every local elementary school went for secondary school), with more students and thus more room for discrimination. And there I found out I was on the last rung of the ladder with the rest of my class… But then again I did seem to fall into quite a deep depression at this time and grew completely alienated to most of my male classmates, some of whom i had had since even before school, so it can well be that I more or less imagined being as much of an “outcast” as I thought I was. But be it as it may, I’ve yet to be in any kind of contanct with most of them since secondary school ended, when upper secondary school started I found myself alone. Luckily, a fellow as-of-yet undiagnosed autistic kid found a likeminded individual in me, and took my introverted ass under his more extroverted wing for protection. Even more lucky was that this kid (who i still consider a brother to me, after all these years. i am not exaggerating when i say that he saved my life many times, and showed me unrivaled patience even more) had large amounts of friends from the local sports teams and related folks, so I kinda basically just slided right in. Indeed – despite all the depression and anxiety, and the general teenage drama, and the fact that the town we grew up in was so completely devoid of anything else to do for most people our age that we drank a whole lotta alcohol – to quote Bryan Adams in The Summer of '69 - Those were the best days of my life.

ps. forgive me for any typos and such, i am what we in the profession call blazed. i have awoken and atoken, so to say

I was liked by most of the students, but I wasn’t Miss popular. I basically stuck with my own friends group. My school was small, so it really didn’t matter.

I went to a private elementary school where I was pretty picked on. One of my parents grew up poor and was an immigrant, the other grew up poor and rural, so neither really understood why I had a hard time socially in a suburban private school with mostly wealthy kids.They didn’t know how to help.

I transferred to a public middle school where I was neither popular nor unpopular. My elementary years taught me to avoid relationships so I just tried to blend in and keep things very surface level with other kids. I had no close friends but I was not being picked on.

In high school I developed a couple of closer friendships, but I would not say that I ever completely let my guard down. Like middle school, I wasn’t really picked on but I was certainly not one of the popular kids. I did let myself join athletics so I developed more self confidence, but social relationships were still superficial.

I’m now in my 40s and have been confronting myself about the fact that other than my wife and kids, I’ve not let myself have too many close relationships. I know it was self protective, but it also kept me isolated. My wife cannot and should not be the one person who meets all my needs.

I’m putting myself out there a bit more but man is it hard to make new friends at this age. Better late than never I guess.