This time of year is meant to be filled with joy and family get-togethers, but not everyone has family or anything to be happy about. So are you ok?
No.
Same
Of course not. I’m a millennial on anti-depressants, working a zero-hours contract job with no hope of ever owning property in my lifetime, living in a developed country with solved problems but a populace too spiteful to ever implement the solutions.
I’m in the same boat and at this rate I feel like my retirement is with Remington
The hair care one right?
Nope, not ok.
Doctors told me I have autism a year ago, I told my family, they thought I was delusional and insane and tried to force me into a mental asylum in the middle of nowhere.
Got all my stuff, put it in my car… got mugged, car got stolen, spent a year homeless. Credit ruined, everything I have ever owned is gone, and the best part was all the rest of my friends and family either didnt believe me when I told them what was happening to me, thought I was insane… or were too busy to handle all my drama right now.
At least I can write on lemmy I guess.
I wish there was more I could do for you than just sit here and talk to you.
Well, thanks!
I would do a Go Fund Me or something like that but I am too worried they would find me.
How does it go from “the doctor’s tell me I have autism” to “you’re delusional and insane”? That can’t be the only thing that happened, I mean that you told your family?
My father is a delusional QTard who believes that Tom Hanks’ son kills eats and rapes children for adrenochrome, believes that ANTIFA did Jan 6th, and took great pride in showing me where and how he assembles firearms without serial numbers. Also he drank and drove so much he had to have an interlock device on his car for 7 years.
My brother, who I was living with, barely passed high school as he was spending all his time going to raves, doing so much MDMA/Ecstasy that he gave himself Serotonin Shock Syndrome, believes Shadow People are real, believes he can see peoples ‘auras’, was constantly pressuring me into doing hallucinogenic mushrooms, and believes it is funny to gaslight his schizoeffective girlfriend by telling her that everything that she did or said to him in the past 30 minutes /did not actually happen/, and then go ‘haha just kidding, love you babe smooch’
My mother has a neurological disorder, spent her childhood doing any random drugs anyone would hand her on the street, and just generally speaking has the emotional and intellectual capacity of an 8 year old.
I would go on but I think you get the idea.
Quite literally by the time I was a preteen I was placed into an advanced education track at my middle school, and would come home to my entire family having insane emotional breakdowns and fights with each other all the time, and I actually just went online and to the library, learned basic psychology and would have to stop all their arguments via de escalation and leading group therapy sessions, basically everyday, until I gave up and just moved the family computer into my room and put headphones on.
Took me 34 years and nearly dying many times now to realize my family has always been completely insane, and they are incapable of changing.
This is not a healthy environment for neurotypical people. You are basically Matilda. ;) I hope you find a safe home and safe space and keep away from these people.
Hah, Matilda, no one has ever called me that before. =)
Yeah, I plan on never speaking to any of them ever again. I would prefer they think I am dead, as they are dead to me.
Aha also I cannot help myself with a nitpick:
Autistic people are neurodiverse, as well as I think uh ADHD and schizoid types and i think there is one other major one.
Normies are neurotypical, lol.
Aha also I cannot help myself with a nitpick:
Autistic people are neurodiverse
Akshually, its ‘neurodivergent’.
Sorry 😭
Neurospicy
Haha, counter-nitpicked! =)
Yeah I was gonna say its not healthy for neurotypical people, let alone someone nerodivergent like you. :)
I must be one of the few people on this platform who is genuinely okay and doing all right.
Can I have some of your okayness?
Also good!
statistically, you had to exist
Honestly, not really. I experienced something traumatic on Christmas eve of 2017 and have never completely recovered. I’ll probably never get back to where I was before that.
It really used to be my favorite day of the year but now it’s just raw and awful and I have to keep up appearances so I’m not a miserable person to be around. I really don’t want to be that way, I’m generally a pretty easygoing, easy to get along with kinda guy so I hate the shift that I make.
I’m sorry to hear. Have you tried talking to your family/friends about it? I’m sure they would be understanding and try to help you the way I wish I could.
I’ve talked to some friends about it, but honestly it’s probably ground I need to tread with a therapist. I thought I had a good handle on it but this year has been particularly tough for some reason.
Thank you, though, I appreciate the sentiment!
Your welcome. If you can, please do see someone about it. It’s better to talk about it than to let it build.
I’ve talked to a therapist in the past - not about this, but about the rest of the abuse that was heaped on me during that time. It did help some.
You’re right, and it’s very similar advice my friends gave me. The hard part is finding the time and energy together to let me do it.
Yes and no.
Like, am I stressed as fuck? Yes. Am I fed and housed also yes.
I hope things get better for you.
I’m actually doing really well (but I’m getting some survivor’s guilt from that)
Yeah same. A lot of people are not doing well with the economy being down. I’ve encountered a lot of people looking for work. I’m sure it’ll get better by this time next year.
Its not your fault. I don’t know what you’ve been through, but it’s not your fault.
He killed his entire family
Twice
What?
What country you from?
The US?
Do they speak English in What?
Sadly not. I still have no friends, and no one to talk to. I recently escaped from being literal forced labor for a gang, and am now trying to put life back together without telling my family.
My family are all very catholic, and they’d want my head on a stick if they knew I was stuck working for a gang, despite it being against my will.
Christmas is gonna be hard, because I’ll have to resist the urge to let out those emotions, as they’re the only people I talk to. Still looking for a good friend :(
I don’t have a great relationship with my family, so it makes it even harder around christmas times. I’m a paranoid introvert in need of friends, and trust is hard to come by, so stress builds up until I freak out because I have no one to share any ideas or life stories with. No one to keep me level headed and make sure I’m okay, and no one for me to care about. Still looking for that one good friend to come along…
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I’m not OK. I’m not super un-OK, but this time of year puts me in a dark mood.
I promise I’m not trying to be edgy in saying this, but I fucking HATE the holidays. Everybody puts so much pressure on things being a certain way, especially because it’s a religious holiday. I’m atheist, my mom is catholic, my dad is Jewish but agnostic, and my husband’s family is some sort of Protestant. I wish I could treat it like a secular holiday, but my mom wants me to go to mass with her, my MIL wants us all to sing carols (fucking why, life isn’t a Hallmark movie!), and a polite “no thanks” doesn’t cut it, so no matter what I do I’m disappointing someone. I’ve gotta negotiate with both sides as to whose house we’re visiting on each day, and I just don’t know… Every year the stress just gets to me, I can’t wait for the holidays to be over. I count down the days until the 26th. The cold weather and lack of sun don’t help either.
Also. I just turned 42 this week. Every birthday I’ve ever had has been xmas-flavored - I can’t escape it even for one day. I have a labral tear and femoroacetabular impingement in my right hip which need to be fixed surgically and have been making it really hard to squat and deadlift. And despite being diligent with sun protection, my dermatologist removed yet another mole - this one came back as “moderately precancerous” and they need to do a larger excision. She also suggested I get laser treatments to remove a few age spots on my face. I feel like I’m too young for any of this shit.
I just want a pause button.
Fuck December. You’re a champion. This will suck but you’ll make it through. Look at all you’re already managing successfully. Just bc it’s not easy, doesn’t mean you’re not doing a fantastic job
Thanks friend :)
Takes a village! I’ve been fighting through a lot of darkness for many years now, with no end in sight for the struggle. Not even inner demon shit,really horrific life shit. I try to remember that we can’t always see the top of the mountain, but it’s there. And the only thing we can do is have faith that by always moving forward, however slowly, there is salvation at the summit. And if I die before that, fuck it, I won’t know :)
I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling - but hang in there, I love your philosophy about moving forward!
Thanks! Good thing about the human condition and adaptation is you can normalize some pretty high levels of struggle to being mundane lol
Happy birthday! I hope your hip can be fixed up.
Thanks!
I feel you on hating the holidays. I get so little time off of work that I just want to relax, but the expectations of the holidays make it near impossible. I have 4 siblings and they all have 2-3 kids and them and my mom always try to plan something for Christmas. The problem is we all live at least 4 hours away from each other. It is a logistical nightmare. This year I finally put my foot down and told my family I’m not doing that this year. I also told them not to get anything for my kids because honestly getting presents for 11 nieces and nephews is getting ridiculous. I even told my mom not to come visit because I just can’t deal with her histrionic personality disorder right now. Of course, I couldn’t put it that way, but to my surprise she actually listened for once.
I do still have to deal with my wife’s family coming over, because apparently me saying I don’t want to do anything for Christmas means I’m find with doing Christmas stuff on December 23rd. However, beside my wife stressing about making our house completely spotless, her family coming over isn’t that bad. They will come over for like half a day and go home, and there is never any drama.
Stay strong, the 26th is only a few days away.
Oh man I sympathize so hard with you. Histrionic moms are the worst because they make everything about them. But good for you for putting your foot down! Hang in there dude.
Just got the news last week that my dad, who was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in October, might have 5-7 months left. Plus my mom is slowly dying from COPD. I’m trying to stay positive and spend what might be the last Christmas we get with them. But to say I’m not feeling the happy new year vibes is an understatement. Only death and more depression coming in 2024.
I’m sorry for you. Spend what time you have left with them, make memories, it’s better to have loved them than not at all. I wish you the best.
My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me on Sunday, she’s the love of my life (have known each other far longer than 2 years). We have a child together, I don’t know what to do about it.
I’m trying to talk to her and discuss how we can work through it, I don’t know if it’s going to work.
Keep your fingers crossed for me I guess?
I also haven’t eaten or slept properly since, I’m starving but I can’t actually put food in my mouth.
Firstly, you need to eat and sleep, you can’t solve anything if you don’t have the energy for it. Make it simple like some soup or chicken. Your girlfriend might need some space or time to think, be patient with her. At the very least, keep goog terms with her and agree to take care of the kid, even if you don’t live together.
I’ve done all of this as best I can, but I’m struggling with the eating and sleeping. I’m doing my best though.
That sounds so tough man. You’re in my thoughts, I don’t know what else to say. I hope you get all the strength and happiness you need.
Sometimes things just fall apart. Do you mourn her, or do you mourn her love more?
If it’s her, then I hope you guys can work something it out.
If you mourn her love, then I think you’re feeling the loss of a shared future you had planned together. This hurts hard, I know, but will get better with time once you realise that you mourn the idea of her. You can and will find that with someone else, and then she will just be your ex that you have fond memories with, who you see once a week to pick up the kids, whilst you build a new future with your new partner.
It’s her I miss, beyond any doubts. I’m fighting like hell to work something out, but also trying to give her some space, it’s difficult finding the right balance between the two.
Fuck no, I have 4 years of industry experience and my industry is basically falling apart. I haven’t been able to find work since March. Even construction labour jobs requiring no experience wont call me back. If I cant make something work soon I might just decide to french kiss an electrical socket.
Update:
I found a job. It does not pay that well but its in my industry and there are great individual liberties that come with the job. It took 18 months, getting EI, running out of EI, and being forced to throw out/sell a bunch of my stuff and rent out my home to overcome this. If I were most other people without the support system I have available to me, I’d be fucking homeless. Fuck the status quo.
Please don’t do that. I know it would be hard to, but maybe try looking for a different carrer path if you can. Just don’t give up, please.
The horror isn’t in killing yourself, the horror is living in hell so that other people can feel good that you’re suffering instead of dead.
Unless you are in retail, this is the worst time of year for find work. Just wait until everyone gets back in the office after the new year and you should see a lot more opportunities and responses. Just hold on man.
Since March.
My mom died a week and a half ago. So no.
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Here’s a song for you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dj1oVX_ymEU
Sorry to hear about your loss. My parents died just before Xmas a few years ago. Would you like to tell us about her?
How are you, OP?
I’m right as rain, but how are you?
Expects everyone else to open up - gives you a canned answer.
Kidding OP; some sympathy can go a long way so this was nice of you.
2023 has been a calamity for me. I lost my best friend and business partner to cancer in March. Then, the mourning. The burnout. The psychologist. The antidepressants.
I then had a diverticulitis, ended up at the hospital. I reacted badly to an antidepressant, ended up at the hospital. Had a problematic mole in my lower back, got it removed, sent it to biopsy… Didn’t remove enough, remove the rest, and the wound isn’t healing properly and got infected.
Just since Halloween, I started coughing with lots of secretion, until my asthma came back first time in 15 years, and I coughed so hard for a month and a half, I ended up cracking a rib.
Then I got an acute middle ear infection, that lasted 2 weeks, the pain was excruciating.
Now, I still can’t hear from that ear it’s clogged. I stopped coughing. My antidepressant is doing an ok job.
I just want a break from life. I had to take 2 weeks off work completely early in December for my physical and mental health. First time I have to do that in my life.
Fuck, that sounds like a ridiculous amount of shite. Hopefully life balances out just up ahead.
I’m really sorry you’re having such a shitty time, that’s a whole lot to deal with. I hope things improve for you!
